Preface

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Part I. Developing Children's Social Skills

1. Yada, Yada, Yada: Communicating Effectively With the Young Child

1. Use nonverbal communication.

2. Talk frequently to infants and toddlers.

3. Get down to the child’s eye level.

4. Use positive language.

5. Be more responsive to what a child does than to what he says.

6. Offer limited choices.

7. Be a language role model.

8. Use language to influence a child’s response to negative events.

9. Use specific language.

10. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

11. Engage children in conversation.

12. Use props to stimulate conversation.

13. Ask developmentally appropriate questions.

14. Help children tell the truth.

15. Be honest and trustworthy.

16. Understand what the child is asking before answering the question.

TRY THIS

2. "Why Can't You Behave?" Understanding the Difference Between Discipline and Punishment

17. Control your emotions.

18. Have a consistent approach.

19. Give children positive attention.

20. Use tangible rewards sparingly.

21. Avoid power struggles.

22. Quiet a group of screaming children by joining them.

23. Redirect negative play.

24. Help children learn to take turns.

25. Don’t overreact when children test your limits.

26. Have developmentally appropriate expectations.

27. Limit class rules.

28. Help children deal with insults from other children.

29. Stop physical bullying as soon as you see it.

30. Don’t assume the younger/smaller child is an innocent victim.

31. Recognize tricks children use to gain favor.

32. Be sure you have a child’s undivided attention.

33. Help children learn to express themselves with words.

34. Guide children through the problem solving process.

TRY THIS

3. "Will You Be My Friend?" Helping Children Develop a Positive Self-Image and Master the Art of Getting Along with Others

35. Help children be independent to foster a positive self-image.

36. Caution parents about the dangers of being too indulgent.

37. Find something good to say about each child.

38. Provide activities that involve cooperation.

39. Encourage the children to interact with and be accepting of all their classmates.

40. Arrange opportunities for children to help one another.

41. When developmentally appropriate, provide an atmosphere that encourages sharing.

42. Be a positive role model.

43. Give children the opportunity to resolve disagreements by themselves.

44. Provide materials that encourage positive social interaction on the playground.

45. Stimulate, but do not dominate, dramatic play.

46. Give children the privacy and freedom they need for dramatic play.

TRY THIS

Part II. Creating Positive Teacher/Family Relationships

4. "Mommy, Please Don't Leave Me!" Preparing Parents and Children for School

47. Offer parents specific and concrete advice on how to minimize separation problems before the child enters school.

48. Try to meet and form bonds with parents before school starts.

49. Establish good lines of communication with parents.

50. Help parents develop an exit strategy.

51. Encourage parents to stay nearby.

52. Gradually increase the time a child stays at school.

53. Give all the children extra attention.

54. Accept a child’s honest feelings.

55. Develop plans to comfort unhappy children.

56. Set up the easel to create a safe observation post.

57. Help children understand the daily schedule.

58. Use your name and the children’s names often.

59. Wear pins or other accessories that appeal to children.

60. Dress colorfully for working with young children.

61. Count heads frequently during the day.

TRY THIS

5. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Creating a Team Relationship With Parents

62. Help parents work through the natural tendency to be jealous.

63. Put your personal feelings aside.

64. Make it easy for parents to confide in you.

65. Learn about the culture and customs of the children’s families.

66. Keep parents informed by posting lesson plans.

67. Write meaningful newsletters.

68. Educate the parents as well as the children.

69. Find ways to communicate with parents.

70. Do your best to calm an angry parent.

71. Involve parents in the school experience.

72. Perform little kindnesses that are not in your job description.

73. Show your appreciation to parents.

74. Accept that you may not be able to help every parent.

TRY THIS

6. "Can We Talk?" Making the Most of Parent/Teacher Conferences

75. Control your conference schedule.

76. Involve everyone who comes to a conference.

77. Collect your thoughts before responding to questions.

78. Have a plan for each child.

79. Ask open-ended questions to get parents to talk about issues.

80. Facilitate communication by relating specific observations.

81. Provide examples of a child’s work.

82. Ask parents what their child does when not in school.

83. Know what you want to say before contacting a parent to schedule an extra conference.

84. Take more than enough time before expressing concerns about a child’s development.

85. When necessary encourage parents to request testing or see a specialist.

86. Avoid using labels.

87. Prepare yourself for negative reactions.

88. Have a game plan for conferences.

TRY THIS

Afterword

Resources

Suggested Readings