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The Difficult Parent

An Educator's Guide to Handling Aggressive Behavior

By: Charles M. Jaksec III

Specific strategies for working successfully with challenging parents
The Difficult Parent digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators, and is organized into three modules: an introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation, an in-depth explanation of the RAID approach, a built-in facilitator's guide, and step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting. Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:
digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators, and is organized into three modules: an introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation, an in-depth explanation of the RAID approach, a built-in facilitator's guide, and step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting. Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:

Recognize the potential for a volatile encounter
Assess your ability to deal effectively with the situation

Identify your advantages
Defuse the parent's aggression during the initial approach and greeting

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Product Details

Grade Level: PreK-12
ISBN: 9780761988991
Published By: Corwin
Year: 2004
Page Count: 168
Publication date: June 22, 2004

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Description

Specific strategies for working successfully with challenging parents

Parents are a vital source of support for our schools. School personnel interact with parents on a daily basis and fortunately, most of these interactions are pleasant and helpful, keeping students' needs in mind. Instances of parental aggression, however, do occur. Volatile or confrontational parents present many unique challenges for educators who have long overlooked this important issue.

The Difficult Parent digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:
digs deeply into the problem of parental aggression, specifying strategies for a broad audience of educators. The guide is organized into three modules:

An introductory examination of parental aggression and confrontation
An in-depth explanation of the RAID approach and its mechanics
Step-by-step instructions for facilitating the RAID approach in any academic setting

Comprehensive in scope, the RAID approach targets four steps to working successfully with difficult parents:

Recognize the potential for a volatile encounter
Assess your ability to deal effectively with the situation
Identify your advantages
Defuse the parent's aggression during the initial approach and greeting

This effective, proven approach is based on real professionals' mistakes and successes. Specially featured scenarios and anecdotes depict confrontational situations experienced by school personnel, including "from the trenches" interviews with educators who have successfully implemented the RAID approach in their schools. A facilitator's guide is also included for practical implementation of the RAID approach in the academic setting.

Key features

Author(s)

Charles M. Jaksec III

Charles M. Jaksec III has served as a school social worker in The Hillsborough County School District for 21 years and has been a member of the district’s crisis intervention team for 18 years. He serves as the chairperson of the district’s Bullying Committee and is a member of the district’s Violence Prevention Committee. Jaksec is the author of The Difficult Parent: An Educator’s Guide to Handling Aggressive Behaviors (Corwin Press 2004) and The Confrontational Parent: A Practical Guide for School Leaders (Eye On Education, Inc. 2003). He speaks nationally and locally on the topics of school crisis intervention and parental aggression. Jaksec has a master’s degree in counseling services from Slippery Rock University, and an educational specialist degree in counselor education and a doctorate in curriculum and instruction from the University of South Florida.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Introduction

Part I: Parental Aggression Towards School Personnel

1. A Genuine Concern for School Personnel

Are Confrontational Parents a Pertinent Issue?

How Often Does Parental Aggression Occur?

Do Employees Have to Tolerate Parental Aggression?

Could Parental Aggression Affect Me?

Why Does the Topic of Parental Aggression Seem Obscure?

What Makes Parental Aggression a Unique Issue?

Questions for Discussion

2. The Reactive Nature of Education

The Effects of Reactivity

Is a Proactive Approach Necessary?

Why Does This Feel Funny?

Why Do Parents Become Hostile?

Questions for Discussion

3. Confrontational Parents and Your Colleagues

School Administrators

Teachers

Guidance Counselors

School Social Workers

School Health Personnel

Office Personnel

School Psychologists

Other School Personnel

Questions for Discussion

Part II: An Approach to Address Parental Aggression

4. The RAID Approach

What Have We Established So Far?

Seven Frequently Asked Questions Regarding the RAID Approach

Just Common Sense

A Schoolwide Approach to Parental Aggression

Brevity and Simplicity

Questions for Discussion

5. RAID Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter

To Meet or Not to Meet

When is it Too Risky to Meet With a Parent?

How Do You Say No?

The "Guilts"

Step One in Motion

Step One Summary

Step One Checklist

Questions for Discussion

6. RAID Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation

What Types of Issues Affect Our Emotions and Disposition?

Face Number Four

Early-Warning Colleagues

"I'll be Back"

Step Two Summary

Step Two Checklist

Questions for Discussion

7. RAID Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages

Advantages: What's Available?

Workforce Advantages

Environmental Advantages

Step Three Summary

Step Three Checklist

Questions for Discussion

8. RAID Step Four: Diffusing Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting

Observing the Parent

Approaching the Parent

Greeting the Parent

Setting Parameters

Step Four Summary

Step Four Checklist

Questions for Discussion

9. Putting the RAID Approach to Work

Case #1: Mrs. Winslow

Case #2: Mrs. Cananski

Summary

Questions for Discussion

Part III: Issues, Questions, and Installation

10. The Worst-Case Scenario ... and After

After the Confrontation

I Gotta Unload: The Importance of Debriefing

Summary

Questions for Discussion

11. Four Great Questions

What If a Parent Becomes Aggressive and a Student Is in the Vicinity?

What If a Parent Confronts a Staff Member Off Campus?

Which Staff Member Plays the Most Important Role in the RAID Approach?

How Do You Handle a Parent When He or She Returns to the School?

Questions for Discussion

Resource A: Traumatic Stress Reactions Questionnaire

References

Facilitator's Guide

Who Should Use This Guide?

Who Should Receive a "RAID Approach" In-Service?

When Should The RAID Approach Be Installed?

How This Guide Is Organized

What Materials Are Necessary?

Materials for Facilitators

Materials for Participants

Module One

Task One: Introduce the Issue of Parental Aggression

Task Two: Identification of Previous Staff Interactions With Aggressive Parents

Task Three: Identify the Possible Effects of Parental Aggression on School Personnel

Task Four: Establish the Value of a Multidisciplinary Approach to Parental Aggression

Module Two

Task One: Introduce the RAID Approach

Task Two: Explain Step One: Recognizing the Potential for a Volatile Encounter

Task Three: Explain Step Two: Assessing Your Ability to Emotionally Handle the Situation

Task Four: Explain Step Three: Identifying Your Advantages

Task Five: Explain Step Four: Diffusing Parent Anger During the Initial Approach and Greeting

Module Three

Task One: Solicit Feedback Regarding the RAID Approach

Task Two: Identify Roles and Responsibilities

Task Three: Discuss Worst-Case Scenarios

Task Four: Establish a Debriefing Mechanism

Overhead #1

Overhead #2

Overhead #3

Overhead #4

Overhead #5

Overhead #6

Overhead #7

Overhead #8

Overhead #9

Index

Reviews

"Clearly directed toward solutions, rather than perpetuating the ‘blame game.’ I highly recommend it. Nice job!"

Susan M. Nakaba, Associate Principal
Palos Verdes High School, Rolling Hills Estates, CA

"The manner in which information is presented is clear, concise, and easy to follow. The common sense approach is excellent."

Edward Chevalier, Principal
Blalack Middle School, Carrollton, TX

"This is a very impressive book--a must-read for new administrators and a great book club read for any administrator group."

Larry Birdsell, Principal
Cypress Elementary School, Newbury Park, CA

Other Titles in: Conflict Resolution for Adults | Administration & Leadership

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